EMPLOY CAUTION THIS IS NOT A JOKE EMPLOY CAUTION
Mood:  on fire
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR FAMILY ARE THE CATS HAVE TURNED AGAINST US AND ARE PLANNING ATTACK THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT NOT A DRILL

Cat's don't like jam
Mood:  accident prone
Cat's don't like jam. Except, however, Claude the cat, who is a smelly, brown cat. He eats jam and he goes yum. But then he is sick. This cat is called Minty, and he doesn't like jam because he is a cat and cats were not put on this earth to eat jam, but perhaps Whiskas or another honourable cat food product. Like Iams, a tasty treat in an attractive orange bag. This is the sound a cat makes when he eats jam for the first time and does not like it: "Meow!! I think I'm going to chuck!" (Obviously, this phrase would be in cat language) (BTW, humans can't understand cat language.)